


5 times James didn't say the right thing, and 1 time he did

by Theo-Sev (Sevv7)



Category: RWBY
Genre: 5+1, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Complete, Eventual Fluff, M/M, Mutual Pining, Unreliable Narrator, edited to fix some formatting in ch2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-12
Updated: 2019-11-19
Packaged: 2021-01-29 16:09:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21412954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sevv7/pseuds/Theo-Sev
Summary: Short snippets into the angst filled history of James and Qrow's relationship, culminating in the events from v7e2.
Relationships: Qrow Branwen/James Ironwood
Comments: 16
Kudos: 177





	1. The first time James didn't say the right thing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 1 is set pre volume one, and assumes James and Qrow have been together for a couple of months.

The door handle rattled and turned slowly, followed by the sound of well worn hinges as it opened to reveal the last person Qrow was hoping to see. The only one who might be able to change his mind.

Qrow had planned to be gone long before anyone arrived back at the lodgings they had secured for the visit to Haven Academy. He was back far earlier than they had agreed to for the sole reason of ensuring it. His meagre belongings hadn’t take more than a quarter of an hour to gather together and throw into a case though, so he wondered how had he managed to take so long in leaving. He pushed a traitorous thought from his mind that it was because he wanted to be convinced to stay, because it wasn’t about what he wanted. It was about what was right. And him staying here, that wasn’t right. There was too much risk involved, and too many accidents had happened in recent days for him to ignore it any longer.

Qrow stood decisively, and James eyed him from where he stood, silhouetted in the doorway by the fiery sunset outside.

“Really?” was all he said.

Qrow shook his head, avoiding eye contact. “It’s not you, it’s…” he trailed off, not wanting to finish the meaningless platitude, despite the fact that in this instance he actually did mean it.

“Okay,” James said blandly, “if this isn’t what you want.” Qrow opened his mouth, to tell him that yes, it was what he wanted, so badly he wanted it. He had wanted James since the first time they had really spoken; he was someone who understood what they were up against, and someone who stood against it anyway. He was someone confident, and good and caring and all of the things Qrow had never known he needed. And… he was in danger, because of Qrow. The reminder cut into his thoughts aggressively, wiping out any ideas of trying to go back on his plans now, but James had already noticed the hesitation. “It is though, isn’t it?” James asked, his voice softer now, “this is what you want?” He sounded unsure as his hand motioned tentatively between them.

Qrow met his eyes for the first time since he’d arrived back, and shook his head. Hair flopped over his face and he raised a hand to scrape it back. “No Jimmy. I don’t want this.” He didn’t know what else to say, there was no way he could tell the truth and trust that James wouldn’t follow him out. “I’m leaving and we’re done.” His voice was thick with emotion but it came out sounding rough and abrupt.

James looked stunned, but the hurt which flickered across his face was just as quickly covered by an emotionless stare. He nodded once, and stepped aside, leaving the doorway clear. “I knew you did this to people, Qrow. Fall into bed with them and leave just as quickly. I was a fool to think you’d treat me any differently.”

It stung, because he was wrong. It _ had _ been different, being with James. It had been so different, in fact, that Qrow had allowed it to go on for months. And the longer it had gone on, the better it had gotten - not just the sex, but the pleasure of his company, the warmth and companionship of having someone else there, someone who always had his back in the midst of their never ending war against a faceless enemy. That was why he had to leave now, because if he stayed any longer he’d never find the strength to leave this beautiful man’s side. “M’sorry,” he murmured, aware of how inadequate the words were.

“Well,” James started, his facade cracking a little as his words gathered anger, “I’m not. I’m glad I found out now before we - before _ I _ wasted anymore time.”

Qrow knew he should be glad that James was reacting with anger, because hurt would have been a hundred time harder to face. But this was by no means easy, and it was painful how quickly James jumped to the assumption that he had been just another notch on Qrow’s bedpost, when he had been so very much more.

“It’s not like that,” Qrow burst out, “it wasn’t just… I mean, you weren’t…” James raised an eyebrow, sending a glint of reflected sunlight from the metal strip embedded in his forehead. Qrow struggled for the right words, but there weren’t any. Everything that came to mind screamed out that he wasn’t ready for whatever was between them to be over. He felt like he was choking. But he had come this far, and leaving was the only way he knew how to protect the people he cared about. “Ah, forget it,” he said roughly, after a long pause.

James looked away. A distant frown was the only outward sign of his anger. But Qrow had worked with him to closely to be fooled. “Does anyone else know?” James asked through tight lips.

Qrow heard the question loud and clear - had he told anyone else he was planning to leave. In a manner of speaking he had, if you counted the note he had left on the bed in James’ room. The note which read ‘_I’m no good for you, Jimmy. Be safe. Q.’ _He had planned to leave a note for Oz, too. Telling him he’d heard a report of Grimm activity in the South and he’d check back in with a full account of the situation in a few months time. But then Oz had glanced at him sadly as he’d slipped out early from the days meeting at the Academy, and Qrow knew that he didn’t need telling. Oz just had a way of knowing these things.

“Oz knows,” was all he said in reply. There was no sense in dragging out this painful conversation longer than necessary. Although James shook his head in disbelief and Qrow realised he would have been better off not mentioning it.

“Oz?” he flung the word out like an accusation as he trained his now furious gaze back on Qrow, “then tell me, Qrow, because I can’t understand it, tell me how you found time to speak to him and not to me? Or is it that you _ chose _not to speak to me? Am I of so little consequence to you now?”

His words were razor sharp, and it was only through sheer force of will that Qrow managed to keep his expression neutral through the onslaught. “I thought it would be easier this way.”

“Easier? Easier for you, maybe.”

Qrow felt the choking feeling rise back up. Maybe this had been a mistake, he thought wildly. Maybe he could sit James down and explain that it was for his own protection, and that Qrow’s semblance was the reason a small hunting party of Grimm had found their way onto the school grounds and succeeded in seriously injuring at least 5 students before they could be dispatched. Maybe James would understand, maybe he would say they could protect the school together and Qrow didn’t need to leave. Or maybe he would be horrified and disgusted that Qrow had endangered the pupils by placing himself in their proximity. At this point, Qrow didn’t know which option was worse. The guilt and the self loathing were always there. That was why he had to leave.

“Yeah... maybe,” he agreed finally, voice shakier than intended.

James seemed to deflate, the anger pouring out of him as quickly as it had arrived. He looked defeated. He didn’t say anything further.

Qrow picked up his small case and took a step towards where Harbinger was resting against the doorframe. It was a step closer to James, although he had never seemed further away. Qrow could smell him, his odd combination of musky and metallic. Gods, Qrow would miss that smell. But he wouldn’t miss putting him in danger.

He lingered for longer than necessary over his weapon, ensuring the safety’s were properly fixed in place for travelling. He didn’t let himself dwell on the fact that he was hoping James might still try to stop him leaving. The silence was just as painful, in it’s own way.

Qrow finally slung Harbinger onto his back and stepped outside into the evening. The door swung shut before he even had a chance to turn for one final farewell. James must have shut it.

Qrow was glad James hadn’t tried too hard to stop him leaving.

And yet, Qrow wished James had tried harder...


	2. The second time James didn't say the right thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set just after first meeting of the Ozluminati in V3

Qrow scuffed a shoe moodily on the polished floor of the corridor leading from Ozpin’s office back into the main wing of the school. Even after all this time, seeing James had left him in a foul mood. It didn’t help that his accusation was still ringing loud in Qrow’s head.

You can’t just go dark like that in the field. What did James know about ‘the field’ anyway? Sat up there in his ivory tower, protected by his dual titles of General and Headmaster. He had no idea what it was like out there. Sometimes the only way to retain sanity was to cut ties with life outside of the mission. Contacts, reports, relationships, they were distractions, and distractions could mean the difference between life and death. Besides, Qrow had never reported to James, even at the end of a mission. He reported directly to Ozpin. How would James have even know that Qrow had missed his last 3 check ins?

Qrow quickened his pace. He was exhausted and a hot shower and a rest somewhere he felt safe seemed like the most appealing idea in the world. He idly wondered if James had been checking up with Oz as to Qrow’s status. It would explain how he knew. But what interest did James have in Qrow’s latest mission? There was nothing remarkable about it, in principal. James hadn’t known that this lead, the latest in a long line, would actually have yielded the location of the Fall Maiden's attacker. Qrow circled back to his original question, how had James known he’d gone dark, and mentally crossed out ‘interested about the mission’ from his list. Maybe he had just found out about it from Ozpin when Qrow turned up unexpectedly that afternoon. But then how did Winter know enough to comment about their fear he had been compromised. He crossed that option off too. There was really only one more he could think of; but surely James hadn’t been checking up on him for a personal reason…

Jaw clenched and hands tightly fisted, Qrow shouldered open the door to the room he stayed in when at the Academy on business. Why had he even let his mind wander there? He must have been even more tired than he realised if his sleep deprived brain was trying to suggest that on some level James still cared about him, and if his emotional barriers were failing enough for him to feel hope that that were true.

He flopped, fully clothed onto the sofa at the foot of the bed and rubbed his forehead wearily. He wasn’t going there again. His eyes felt heavy; he should really get into bed properly; hadn’t he been planning to shower? It was easier just to hate James and be hated in return. His head slumped forward, eyelids flickering shut. Hate was a strong word, maybe just dislike. He was seconds from sleep, already feeling like he was floating. Dislike was better, but better still, by virtue of it actually being true, was love-

Qrow sat bolt upright, the sweet promise of sleep banished in an instant. “Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid,” he muttered. Now fully awake, he couldn’t even bring himself to complete the thought, skirting around the ‘l’ word like it was dangerous. He was honest enough to admit that he didn’t hate James, maybe he’d even go so far as to say they had a mutually begrudging respect. But they barely liked each other. Certainly nothing more. There was too much history there. They’d tried it. It wasn’t for them. In fact for Qrow, there would be nothing more than meaningless one night stands. Fast and dirty, sating only physical desire. He was fine with it being that way, it kept people safe.

He stood up, looking around the room properly before his eyes alighted on the standard issue, Academy embroidered, flannel pajamas which always seemed to be left for him when he stayed there. He unbuttoned his shirt and slipped into them, feeling foolish but grateful for the change of clothes. He tried hard not to think anymore about James, though the torrent of questions spiralled out of control just below the surface and made concentrating on anything else impossible. He padded into the bathroom and ran the tap until the water was icy cold, splashing it up at his face in a half hearted attempt at a wash. Peering back at him from the mirror above the basin was his reflection. He met his own, deep red eyes, before noticing his unkempt hair, and stubble that definitely needed a trim. James’ clean shaven face swam into his mindseye. Why could he not seem to escape that man tonight? If only he could just figure out how James knew he’d dropped out of contact on his last mission, that was where this whole thing had stemmed from. Qrow pondered the sense in straight out asking, and found none. But still, he reasoned, if asking one simple question would help him put the whole conversation out of his mind and finally allow him to sleep, then maybe it wasn’t such a horrible idea.

He acted before he had a chance to regret it, stalking out of the bathroom and opening the door back into the Academy corridors. He was 10 steps down the corridor before he realised that James could be in any one of the handful of guest rooms down here. Gods, maybe he wasn’t even in any of them, paranoid as he was Qrow wouldn’t put it past him to sleep in the Atlas aircraft he’d arrived in. “Fuck,” he murmured, irritably.

The click of smart boots suddenly echoed down the corridor, and Qrow could make out the muted but familiar voices of a distant conversation drawing closer. “Fuck,” he said again, instantly feeling the regret of his hastily thrown together plan for confrontation. He turned, meaning to disappear back into his room to try again at sleep, but at that moment General Ironwood and Winter Schnee rounded the corner.

“Qrow?” Winter exclaimed, cutting James off mid-sentence.

Qrow didn’t reply. He just stood there, acutely aware of his stupid Academy branded pajamas.

“We weren’t expecting you to still be up,” James commented as he eyed Qrow’s attire curiously.

“Yeah, well, bad luck I guess.” Qrow shrugged and took a step back. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to have this conversation now he was actually here, and least of all not when Winter was right there too.  
“Schnee, leave us.” Was James a goddamn mind reader, Qrow wondered. “Qrow, I…” James began, after Winter had saluted and turned back the way she had come without question. “I just wanted to say, about earlier. I apologise we didn’t pull you out when we learned that Amber’s attacker was here at Beacon.”

Qrow raised an eyebrow. “You apologise?” he asked incredulously. “Is that supposed to mean something to me? You apologise?” His sarcastic tone grew heated. “What a great help that is, knowing that if I’d been killed out there for nothing, that General Ironwood was planning to apologise for his ignorance.”

“Look,” James shot back, “it’s not like you were easy to contact. You missed 3 check ins, Qrow. 3! Do you have any idea what we thought might have happened to you?”

“Yeah, yeah. Compromised or some shit, you already said.”

“Compromised is what Winter said.” James corrected, and when Qrow didn’t respond, “don’t assume that there aren’t people here who would worry for you.”

Qrow was taken aback and he must have shown it, because James took an uncertain step forward towards him. “I’m not sure I…” James took another step, the distance between them was closing, rapidly.

“Not sure you what?” James whispered, softer than Qrow had heard him in years.

“...Understand.” Qrow’s heart was pounding. James was too close. How had this happened? He was tired and James was acting confusingly. He just needed to ask his question and leave. “How did you know?” was all he managed to get out. The atmosphere was too intense for him to figure out how to ask properly.

“Know what?” James stepped back, bemused at the unexpected words and freeing Qrow from his intoxicating proximity.

“How did you know I’d dropped out of contact with Oz?”

It was James’ turn to look taken aback. “I,” he spluttered, “I just like to be kept informed of our operatives in the field.”

“Well listen here, Jimmy,” Qrow started, anger returning at James’ blasé response, “I’m not just some operative for you keep tabs on. My reports are for Oz, and Oz only. Got that? Unless he volunteers the information, you have no need to go asking around for it.”

“I don’t see that it’s your concern if I request updates from time to time.” James replied stiffly.

“If it’s about me, it’s my fucking concern. Just stop.” Qrow didn’t know why he cared so much, but what right did James have to know his whereabouts and status, when Qrow wouldn’t be afforded the same information about him?

James was still for a few moments before giving a curt nod. “As you wish.” He turned and headed into another of the guest rooms off the corridor without another word, nor even a glance back at Qrow.

Qrow just stood there. Wondering if he’d said the right thing, wondering what James had meant when he’d said that there were still people who worried about him, wondering why he had stood so close. Qrow turned back towards his room. Most of all he wondered why he felt so disappointed. The only thing he felt sure about was that despite his exhaustion, there was no way he’d be able to get a good nights sleep after that.


	3. The third time James didn't say the right thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set just after the fall of Beacon

Everything had gone wrong. Beacon, Ozpin, Ruby… _ Yang_. Qrow’s heart skipped a beat and he compensated by draining his glass, setting it down with more force than intended as he motioned for a refill. Yang had needed him, and where had he been? Following orders like a good soldier. How ironic it was that Qrow, such an advocate against authority, had been doing exactly what he had been told. The moment the alarms were sounded he should have been right there with his girls, taking them as far away from the danger as he could and staying with them until he could be sure they were safe. But that wasn’t Qrow either. As much as he loved his nieces, he knew they were strong enough to take care of themselves, and he couldn’t stand by while innocents in the city were still at the mercy of the Grimm.

Except Yang _ hadn’t _been strong enough, he reminded himself. She’d found an enemy she couldn’t defeat and it was Qrow’s fault. He had failed her. And he had failed Ruby, and her team, and Tai and hell maybe even Raven. And Summer, he though miserably. He had let Summer down again and that hurt nearly as badly as how much he’d let Yang down. He’d failed to keep her baby girl safe; because despite the fact that Raven was biologically Yang’s mother, Summer had been far more of a mum to her than Raven had ever been.

The glass in front of him was empty again. How had that happened? He placed his head in his hands, wondering why the world seemed to spin a little when he closed his eyes. He couldn’t be drunk yet, he reasoned, because he could still feel the crushing guilt and self loathing which had plagued him since he had found Ruby and Yang in one of the makeshift hospitals set up in the less badly damaged buildings. But maybe that was his punishment. After all, how was it fair for him to be able to drink his pain away while his niece would never get her arm back? He disgusted even himself, hating how quickly he had fled to the nearest bar, and hating his relief at finding one which had already reopened. He took a long mouthful of the bitter drink in front of him which seemed to have been refilled again. He didn’t even know what it was he was drinking, but it burned the back of his throat and spread warmth through his limbs.

“Thish, thish ish good!” he exclaimed, surprising himself by how loud and slurred he sounded.

He felt a hand lightly placed on his shoulder and started. How had someone gotten so close without him hearing them? Maybe the alcohol was working better than he thought; it wouldn’t be the first time.

“Hey, maybe time to ease up there?” Qrow heard the voice belonging to whoever had their arm on him say, softly.

He waved a hand behind him in dismissal. “‘M fine,” he lied. How could he be fine when one niece lay unconscious and the other was in literal pieces because he was too much of a failure to be able to protect her?

The hand gripped him more insistently now. “Come on, let me take you somewhere you can sleep it off.” Whoever this was really starting to annoy Qrow now. What did they know about what he was trying to deal with? Was he really hurting anyone here, why couldn’t he just be left in peace to drink until he felt okay?

“I said I’m fine,” he repeated, more heatedly this time. He shook his shoulder, trying to throw off the determined hand, but lost balance and nearly threw himself off his stool.

The hand disappeared momentarily, but then returned on the small of Qrow’s back, steadying him. “Let me join you then?”

Qrow rolled his eyes and sighed. He was purposely sat at the far end of the bar, away from the other patrons; he wondered what part of him looked like he wanted company. “Take a hint buddy. Walk away.”

He gripped his glass tightly as he heard the stool next to him scrape across the wooden floor despite his warning. He didn’t want a fight; he was tired and drunk and feeling far too many feelings for him to know how to handle them all. But should it come to one, then Qrow pitied the insistent man sitting down next to him. He swirled round the remaining liquid in his glass before downing it, after all, things did have a tendency to get broken around him and there was no sense in wasting good drink.

“Qrow…” Qrow’s head snapped to look at the man properly. It took a few seconds for his vision to settle enough to pick out the features of General James Ironwood.

“Oh. It’s you.” Qrow muttered, taken somewhat aback by the General’s appearance in the dingy and downtrodden bar.

“Qrow, Glynda was worried about you. She said you’d not been seen since you left your nieces.”

“Well. Consider me ‘seen’. Is that all?” Qrow flicked a wrist to bat James away. He didn’t want James to see him like this, didn’t want him to think any less of him for how he had failed to protect his nieces when they’d needed him.

James shook his head. “She said you hadn’t let the medics check you before you disappeared.” Qrow shrugged, it was true, if not irrelevant. James seemed to sense Qrow’s disinterest. “Why won’t you let someone check you over? Then you can-”

“I’m fine Jimmy. I’m totally fine. My aura never even broke.” He rolled up his sleeves, aggressively shoving his arms under James’ eyes. “See, not a scratch on me. I’m fine,” he slowed, ranting over as quickly as it had started, “I’m fine, and they’re…” he trailed off, unable to complete the sentence.

James nodded, understanding. He placed his hand back on Qrow’s shoulder in an age old gesture of comfort, but Qrow shrugged it off again. Another full glass slid down the bar.

“You’ll regret it tomorrow.” James stated as Qrow reached for it.

“Heh. See that stopping me?” He took a deliberately long drink and exhaled. Why was James still here anyway, he wondered? Surely he had more important matters to attend to than delivering Qrow back for an unneeded medical examination. Qrow tried to reason it out, but his mind felt clouded and all of his thoughts seemed just a little too far out of reach to form a cohesive answer. “Why don’t you join me. We can regret it together?” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, grinning. He felt like there was a reason he hadn’t been smiling before. He couldn’t recall what it was.

“I’m not sure that’s a smart idea.”

“Oh c’mon Jimmy. Stop being so smart all the damn time.” Qrow flicked the glass in his direction and laughed when he saw James’ distasteful expression.

“Qrow,” he said, the steel in his tone implying a warning, “I really think it would be best if you came back with me.” He picked up the glass and set it down on his other side, out of Qrow’s reach.

“Pshh. Boring.” Qrow pouted, watching James stand up. He barely had time to react before James had placed both hands on his arms and yanked him off his stool, causing him to stumble and fall against the General’s crisp and clean white coat. “New coat,” he commented gleefully.

James didn’t say anything further as he hooked one of Qrow’s arms around his neck and proceeded to support him as he dragged him away from the bar, pausing only to throw down a handful of Lien. Once they were outside in the cold, he paused. “It wasn’t your fault,” he commented quietly.

Qrow didn’t particularly appreciate James’ unasked for opinion. The icy wind which stung his face sobered him up just enough to know that he wasn’t ready to think about that yet. There was a reason he had retreated into the blissful ignorance of drinking, and he didn’t much welcome James’ attempt to remove that one comfort.

“What do you know. You weren’t there.” He pulled away, managing to take 2 steps before the world started spinning and he had to stop to regain his balance.

“You weren’t either.” James reminded him, reaching out in support.

“Exactly.” Qrow spat, bitterness creeping through into his tone. “Now will you just leave me alone?” He watched James stare at him, feeling anger boiling just below the surface. How easy it must be for him to stand there, judging Qrow when he didn’t have a clue what it was like to continually let down the people he cared about.

James looked weary and he turned away like he was about to leave, but then he just had to go and say it. “No one blames you.”

Qrow lashed out blindly. He was used to fighting drunk, although later he would concede that he wasn’t usually quite _ this _ drunk. James neatly stepped out of the way as Qrow’s fist careered towards him, but didn’t see the other one coming in from the side until it was too late. Qrow smirked as he felt the satisfying impact against James’ cheekbone, and used his advantage to swing again. James brought up his arm swiftly to block it, and dodged a lower jab.

“Fight back,” Qrow growled.

“I’m not fighting you Qrow.”

Qrow hit out again, harder and harder still; fuelled by fury and alcohol and assorted other emotions he couldn’t put a name to. Well aimed strikes were met with smart blocks over and over, never managing to reach their target. James didn’t even look like he’d broken a sweat and Qrow had to wonder if maybe his aim wasn’t quite as on point as he thought it was. That didn’t stop him though, he continued his onslaught for as long as his energy allowed, until powerful punches were no more than feeble attempts, no longer requiring James to even hold up an arm to block them. Then Qrow overbalanced as he threw too much weight into one of them, and he collapsed onto the floor like the broken mess of a man he felt inside.

James bent down and scooped him up. “I’m sorry you’re hurting,” he whispered in a low voice.

XXX

Qrow woke up in the morning with a cracking headache and no memory of how he’d ended up in the emergency accommodation the Atlas soldiers had set up for the staff and students at Beacon while they waited for transport back to their families. He vaguely remembered James had been there at some point but nothing more, despite trying. He wondered if he had an apology to make, but that would have to wait. He grabbed his flask where he noticed it had fallen onto the floor, smoothed down his crumpled clothes and headed out to visit his nieces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So just to make this clear, I don't necessarily think that James is saying the wrong thing in any of these. I think they're both equally to blame for their angst. But I just really wanted to write this collection from Qrow's POV so it made sense for him to think that it's James who is the one saying the wrong things!
> 
> Also any comments are hugely appreciated. This collection is still a WIP so happy to take on board any feedback (especially as I have to beta my own work)! Thanks!!


	4. The fourth time James didn't say the right thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set in the middle of volume 4 just after the fight with Tyrian

“Uncle Qrow! Uncle Qrow!” Qrow heard Ruby cry over the sound of frantic approaching footsteps. He struggled to open his eyes as his youngest niece slid to her knees beside him.

“Hey, kiddo,” he managed, weakly. “What’s up?”

“Don’t… don’t you remember?” she asked, sounding worried.

Qrow frowned and tilted his neck just enough to see that he was propped up against the wooden structure of what looked to be a destroyed building. He shook his head slowly, fighting against the blackness which threatened the corners of his vision. That wasn’t a good sign. How out of it must he have been for him not to have any recollection of being moved, he wondered.

“There was this huge Grimm. Well maybe two? So that would make them Grimm_s, _ right? Oh I don’t know. Anyway, it was like this huge horse and then a Grimm riding it and it was suuuuper strong but we took it out, Uncle Qrow. You should have seen it, we were amazing. Especially Ren!” Ruby was babbling, Qrow realised, she did that when she was scared. _ He _was scaring her. He reached out, managing to clasp a hand over hers and taking comfort in how cool it was against his clammy skin.

“Ruby. You did great. I’m proud.” It was all he could manage to get out before he started to cough, and pain seared through him from the wound in his abdomen. He tipped his head back with a groan.

“Uncle Qrow… just hold on. It’s going to be okay, you’ll see.” Qrow caught the forced optimism in her voice. She wasn’t as subtle as she thought she was, and Qrow know things didn’t look too great for him right now. He shut his eyes, feeling unconsciousness drawing in, promising to free him from his agony for a little while longer. He made a feeble attempt to pat Ruby’s arm, and then his hand fell limp.

_ “Qrow? Qrow dammit, wake up!” _

“Huh… Jimmy?” Qrow whispered, knowing at once that there was no way the James had found him all the way out here in the middle of Anima’s sprawling forest plains.

_ “Of course it’s me,” _ James snapped, then, _ “good, you’re awake again. I know it’s difficult, but try and stay with me, okay?” _

It didn’t make any sense. James wasn’t here, he couldn’t be. Yet Qrow could see him clear as day, as clear as he could see Ruby in front of him, carrying the handles of his stretcher with her shoulders set in determination. “Jim,” he gasped, painfully aware of how dry his mouth was, “‘m not doing so great.”

_ “It’s James,” _ came the stern reminder, _ “and I know. That’s why I’m here.” _

Qrow frowned and wondered if any of this was even real, or just a projection designed by his mind to keep him fighting against the poison that was killing him. He was vaguely aware of Ruby’s voice, far away, asking who Jim was.

“What? I don’t… but why?” he struggled, trying to align his thoughts into a sentence and failing.

_ “Because I need to know you’re going to be okay.” _ James was so close now that Qrow thought he could feel his cool breath tickle his face. It was a welcome relief against his burning skin. _ “I can’t lose you.” _

Qrow rolled his eyes but was unable to stop a small, soft smile. He had forgotten how much of a sap James could be at times, because despite his professional and uptight exterior, deep down he had the biggest heart Qrow had ever known someone to have. It was one of his best qualities, and also one of his worst. It was what led him to make foolish decisions; like bringing the Atlesian army over to Beacon because he couldn’t bear the thought of not doing his absolute utmost to provide protection, no matter what Ozpin had told him. It was also what had so endeared Qrow to him, way back when they first met as fresh faced graduates of the Huntsman Academies. He had been so genuine and so eager to help. Qrow supposed he might have been that idealistic back then, too; but he was honest enough with himself to recognise how cynical he had allowed himself to become. Somehow that had never happened to James. “Incredible,” Qrow murmured in a low voice.

_ “Kind of you to say,” _ James smiled back, _ “but you aren’t nearly as awful as you’d like everyone to think.” _

“You always saw the best in me, Jimmy.”

_ “You’re the only one who can’t see it,” _ he replied, his lips mere inches from brushing Qrow’s.

Qrow shut his eyes, enjoying the proximity. Confusion sparked in the back of his mind but he pushed it back. He was sure he was dying, Ruby’s eyes had all but confirmed it earlier that day, so why couldn’t he just enjoy his final hours. It sure beat rolling around in agony.

_ “Stop it Qrow. Don’t think like that. You’re going to be fine.” _ He wondered how James knew what he was thinking. _ “Because I know you so well. Or did you forget how much we used to mean to each other?” _

Qrow gasped in pain at the impact of his makeshift stretcher being set down. “Never,” he groaned, aware of the muffled voices of RNJR nearby and some sort of whirring sound he was unable to place.

_ “Good. Me neither.” _ James looked pleased. _ “Now, I’m going to have to leave you soon.” _He placed a hand on Qrow’s forehead and Qrow moaned weakly.

“No… Jim… stay.”

_ “You’re going to be okay now.” _He gestured around and Qrow realised that the whirring sound was coming from an aircraft which had landed only a metres feet away.

“Please,” he said, acutely aware of how his voice broke in the middle of the word.

_ “I’ll see you again, Qrow. Come and find me.” _James bent low enough that Qrow was sure he was going to kiss him, but then he was gone.

“No, no. Shit. No. Stay.” Qrow could no longer feel the coolness of a metal hand against his forehead. His eyes felt wet. James couldn’t leave him; not now, not here, like this. He wasn’t ready. “Please,” he whispered again, but to no avail.

James was gone. Just like always. And Qrow was alone. No matter whether it was for safety, work, a mission... Qrow was always alone.

He felt the stretcher being lifted again, this time by the trained arms of the Mistral airship technicians. Ruby appeared at his side, hovering; she looked concerned and relieved at the same time. She took his hand in one of hers, using her other to gently wipe sweat off his brow. “I’m here Uncle Qrow. I haven't gone anywhere. I’m here,” she reassured.

Qrow sighed through gritted teeth. Everything hurt, the pain was near unbearable now and he couldn’t deny that James leaving was at least in some part responsible for that. He closed his eyes, unable to stop the occasional groan or hiss escape his mouth.

He missed James, he realised; and if he ever made it out of this alive, he promised himself that he’d find a way to make things right between them.

XXX

“Hey, uhm, Uncle Qrow?” Ruby asked the next morning, after filling Qrow in exactly what had happened, “Who’s Jimmy?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what could James have said that was the 'right' thing? Well obviously James was never there, so I guess this one is kind of weighted against him ;)  
But, on a more serious note. It sort of seems like Qrow has a few abandonment issues, so maybe this is a throwback to James not trying hard enough to keep their relationship in tact, way back when they were younger. Always interested in your thoughts :)  
Thanks for keeping reading!!


	5. The fifth time James didn't say the right thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set sometime during volume 5, after Yang and Weiss have rejoined RNJR and before the battle at Haven

_ Qrow. _

Qrow picked up the letter, curiously tracing his finger around the beautiful cursive his name was written in. He wasn’t aware that anyone aside from Ruby, Yang and their friends knew he was here in Mistral, so when the letter had turned up at their doorstep that morning it had been more than a little disconcerting.

A soft rap sounded at the door of Qrow’s room, and a pair of large silver eyes slowly peaked around. “We’re heading out for a bit,” Ruby told him happily, “I want to show Yang and Weiss the market place we visited the other day.”

“Sure. Have fun. Be safe.” Qrow rolled his eyes at how much like Tai he sounded. When had he transitioned from cool Uncle to responsible adult, he wondered. There was a time not so long ago when he’d have been the one showing them around the city, partaking in whatever mischief they were bound to find there. “Maybe I’ll join you, later,” he added after a short pause, “show you a few places you might have missed?” He gave his niece a cocky wink, because she was looking at him with a worried expression that didn’t look right on her young face.

“Okay,” she hummed, features relaxing slightly, “catch you later!”

“Later,” Qrow agreed. He waited until she had pulled the door shut behind her before he placed the letter back on the desk he was lounging at, and reached into a pocket to bring out his flask. He turned it over in his hand a few times as he tried to convince himself to put it away. He knew his drinking had been noticed by Ruby, he was too sharp and she was too inexperienced to hide how she watched him. He had realised he was depending on it more and more, but he’d get it under control now Ozpin was back. There was no reason to worry. He just needed to get through the next few days until they’d confronted Raven about the Spring Maiden, then maybe he’d cut back again. Satisfied with his logic, he unscrewed the cap and took a long swig. He kept the flask loosely clutched in his hand as he picked the letter back up.

The handwriting on the outside was familiar in a way which made his stomach do flips. It was part of the reason he hadn’t opened the letter yet, because until then he could hope that he was right about it’s sender, rather than face the inevitable disappointment. There was no way James knew he was staying here; he reasoned it was far more likely penned by one of Leo’s staff, maybe someone originally from Atlas who had learned to write in the same flowing script James had.

Qrow shook his head, frustrated at how much he had let a simple letter affect him. He tore the seal and pulled out the thin sheets of folded paper inside, cursing himself at how his eyes immediately sought out the signature at the bottom. _ ‘Yours, James _’ it read. Qrow clutched the pages tighter as he recognised the crest of Atlas Academy stamped in the bottom corner. His mind flew through possibilities, immediately dismissing the half formed hope that James was in Mistral too. He had known Qrow was ultimately headed here after the fall of Beacon, so it wasn’t that much of a stretch to assume that he had sent the letter ahead to an Atlas agent in the city, who had held onto it until Qrow (plus the assorted students he had managed to gather) had arrived. He took a deep breath, unsure what to expect, and steadied his nerves with another absent sip from his flask.

_ Qrow, _

_ I hope this letter finds you safe. I am unsure as to the exact time you will receive this, but I have instructed my operatives to deliver it to you as soon as you reach the city. Without knowing more about the situation in Mistral, I must be careful when it comes to sharing information by letter, so I hope you can forgive my vagueness. _

Qrow nodded along with James’ comments, pleased that he had exercised some caution for once.

_ I assume that by now you will have heard about the situation in Atlas. Please understand that the situation here is far more complex than it must seem to the rest of Remnant. The fall of Beacon has been difficult for us all, but I will not allow that to tear apart my kingdom. It has not been easy, acting without the guidance of our mutual friend and advisor, but I have my own plans for what must be done to secure peace. No doubt you will form your own opinions as you see what unfolds, but know that I am acting with the best interests of the people of Atlas, and Remnant, at heart. _

Warily, Qrow turned to the second sheet. James’ cryptic words seemed to suggest that Qrow would disapprove of his plans, and knowing how James’ mind worked, Qrow could easily believe that that would be the case.

_ I remain hopeful that your current ventures are proceeding smoothly, although I know that it is rarely the case that things are so straightforward. My communications outside of Atlas are limited, so it is difficult for me to keep as updated as I would like to be on the more subtle goings on over there. That said, please take some small comfort in knowing that I am wishing for your success. I do not know where you intend on travelling once you have completed your business in Mistral; however, as always, I extend Atlas’ hospitality to you. You will always find safety here, despite all that you are determined to disapprove of us. _

Qrow’s eyes moved down to the last paragraph, noting James’ stylised writing seemed more broken here, as if he had moved the pen away several times in the middle of a word.

_ I apologise I am unable to share any more; I would give plenty to be able to communicate more directly with you. You remain a trusted colleague, and I hope it is not bold to assume, a friend. I wish you all the best, don’t stay out of contact for too long. Yours, James. _

Qrow frowned and reread the letter, trying to discern if there was another meaning hidden within the words James had chosen, eventually concluding that if there was then it was too well hidden for him to see. He supposed he ought to share the correspondence with Leo and maybe even Yang and Ruby, especially since there was nothing particularly out of the ordinary mentioned which indicated that it was for Qrow’s eyes only. Although despite this, there was a part of him which wanted to keep the letter secret; something small shared just between him and James. It was ridiculous. Even thinking about it made him feel like some sort of desperate idiot, but he couldn’t deny that he had been thinking about James more and more since his fevered hallucinations from a few weeks ago.

Leaning back in his chair, Qrow took a final drink from his flask and exhaled slowly. He wondered why James had chosen the word ‘friend’, it implied a level of closeness that Qrow didn’t think they’d had for a long time. The more he thought about it, the more he was sure that him and James had never been friends. For a while they had been so much more, and then much less, never managing to alight on the middle ground which might be referred to as friendship. Was James’ choice of word a way of trying to mend a fence, or of enforcing a boundary? Qrow refused to believe it was a subtle manipulation to keep him onside, James had too much integrity to exploit Qrow in that way. He sighed and stood up, forcing the paper back into the envelope it had been delivered in. He was reading too much into it and he knew it. James had probably penned a dozen letters like this to his contacts all over Remnant, there would be nothing special about this one in particular. Maybe he had even reused the same wording for them, there was nothing notably specific which would imply it had been written with Qrow in mind, aside from the mention of their ‘mutual friend and advisor’, Ozpin.

“James,” Qrow murmured, “what are you trying to tell me?” He hadn’t intended to speak aloud, and he was shaken by the amount of raw emotion in his voice. After all this time, how was it that James could still make him feel like this. He had thought he’d dealt with his feelings for him a long time ago, but it was becoming painfully apparent that locking them away and pretending they didn’t exist did not equate to dealing with them.

Qrow opened his door, trying to school his pensive expression into something more lighthearted as he stepped out to survey team JNR teaching Oscar about Aura in their shared living area. He couldn’t lose himself to these thoughts while there were so many people depending on him. He just wished that James had given him something, _ anything _more to go on than his vague hints at a plan and a confusing gesture of friendship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay as much as I have enjoyed writing IronQrow angst I am so excited to write the last chapter and finally give these boys a bit of fluff ^^  
Thanks for making it to Chapter 5! Thoughts and feedback always appreciated!


	6. The Right Thing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set just after the famous hug scene of v7e2.

Qrow thought it felt like he was held for a lifetime. Where James was all he could feel.

James’ strong arms supporting him, grounding him and holding him together all at once. James’ scent overpowering his senses; faintly metallic, combined with the fresh linen smell of his uniform and something musky Qrow had never been able to properly identify.

When James finally made to move away, it took all of Qrow’s willpower not to hold on. Because gods how he wanted to lose himself in that warm embrace forever.

“I’m glad you’re here.” James gave a soft smile, meeting Qrow’s eyes as he stepped back. Qrow couldn’t help but hate him a little, because how could he stand here like everything was fine when with just one hug he had tipped Qrow’s whole world upside down.

“Yeah…” Qrow didn’t like how dazed he sounded compared to James. He knew he had his reasons, that he was going through his own shit, but so was James. It had been painfully obvious when he’d been talking to them all in his office, that he was close to cracking under the pressure he had piled on top of himself. But James had placed his arms around him and held on like he was a lifeline and now he seemed as calm as he had moments before.

Qrow took an unsteady breath. He could still feel the weight of James’ hands on his biceps. He needed time to work out how he felt, but dammit he was too busy just feeling all of it.

“Are you alright?” James asked, voice tinged with concern.

Qrow’s gaze dipped, breaking off their eye contact. It was too much, too intense. It was going to make Qrow say something he’d regret.

“‘M fine,” he mumbled, “it’s been a long day.”

James nodded, Qrow could feel him watching still, like he was waiting for something else; what, Qrow was unable to say. “Of course," James said after a while, “I believe Penny has already shown her friends to the dorms.”

“... the dorms?” Qrow didn’t mean to sound ungrateful, but to put a professional huntsman in the student dorms was more than a little insulting.

James shrugged, misunderstanding the question. “They are still student age after all, even if they aren’t enrolled here.”

“Yeah but in case you didn’t notice,” Qrow gestured to himself, “I’m actually a tiny bit older than they are.”

James looked amused. “You thought I was going to make you sleep in the dorms?”

“Eh? Well you just said…” Qrow trailed off when he caught James’ eyes sparkling with mirth. “Well you said!” he repeated defensively.

James stayed smiling. “Did I already tell you how good it was to see you?”

“Yeah. Three times now.”

“Oh, that many?” he asked calmly, as if he already knew.

“Uhm… James…?” Qrow looked at the floor a little desperately, wondering why was James giving him the impression that he knew something Qrow didn’t.

“James?” He cocked an eyebrow interestedly. “Didn’t realise you knew my actual name. Come on, let me show you where you’ll be staying.”

“Not the dorms?”

James laughed. “Not the dorms.”

It wasn’t the first time Qrow had been inside the Atlas Academy. There had been times, longer ago than Qrow cared to admit, where his presence here could almost be counted on. But a lot had changed since then, both for Qrow, and for the school. He barely recognised parts of it - had forgotten the sweeping beauty of the architecture, as ambitious as it was imposing. He tried not to stare as they walked, concentrating instead on mapping out the layout of the school in his mind. In front of him, James’ boots made a satisfying thud on the polished floors. James had changed a lot too, Qrow thought; he was older now, more hardened by the world, letting his paranoia dictate too many of his decisions. But yet, in the ways that really mattered, James hadn’t really changed at all. He was still too reliant on the military, too quick to charge in to brute force a solution, too protective. Too trusting. Too goddamn soft hearted for his own good.

Qrow faltered as he realised his train of thought had devolved into a list of all of the things he liked about James. No, not liked, _ loved _. Qrow was tired and confused, and try though he might, he just couldn’t remember why he pretended as hard as he did that he wasn’t in love with the man.

Lost in thought, Qrow didn’t notice James had stopped in front of a smooth oak door until he walked into the back of him.

“Easy there,” James said, reaching an arm behind Qrow to help him regain balance. “I see that stealing one of my ships and flying it rogue all the way to Atlas has taken a considerable amount of energy.” He looked at Qrow with kind eyes, balancing out the mocking tone. Qrow felt like his knees might give way and not wholly due to exhaustion.

“Yeah, you left out a few parts though,” he agreed as he allowed himself to be led inside his new quarters.

James raised an eyebrow curiously. “Oh? It sounds like there’s a lot I need to catch up on.” He looked around, Qrow wondered why his eyes lingered for so long on the sofa at the foot of the bed. “I suppose I should leave you to rest then…” he said, his voice raising slightly at the end and turning the statement into a question.

“Thanks James. For everything. This,” he gestured to the room, “letting us stay. We weren’t sure…” he went silent, unsure how to voice how relieved he was that the James standing before him was still the same as he remembered.

“You called me James again.”

Qrow tried to think of a smart retort, hating how much brainpower he was currently dedicating to softly tracing the lines of James’ face with his eyes.

James took a step towards him. Qrow’s eye widened.

“Felt like a ‘James’ sorta moment,” he whispered hoarsely. James was so close now. Qrow thought maybe he was about to hug him again. He wasn’t sure how he felt about that. Having their bodies pressed against each other like that had been incredible, beyond words, but it was too intimate. How could Qrow let himself melt into that embrace for a second time and still go on being able to work with James as nothing more than colleagues? He remembered now. This was why he had locked those feelings away. At best they were confusing and at worst an active hindrance. But even so, knowing all that, he couldn’t bring himself to step away.

“Qrow, I meant it.” He could feel James’ breath as he spoke in a low voice.

“Meant what?”

“That it was good to see you again,” James repeated for the fourth time that day. Qrow could see uncertainty in his eyes now, imagined James could see the same in his.

Oh. _ Oh. _

Qrow shut his eyes as James leaned in.

It was different, this time. He felt James’ hand alight gently on his waist, guiding his hips closer, and allowed his own arms to settle around James’ neck. In this position it was an easy maneuver to pull James’ face down to his; carefully, making sure he hadn’t misread what was happening. And then James’ lips were on his, strong and warm, telling him all of the things that they’d never said aloud to one another.

I want you. I need you. I _ love _you.

Qrow smiled into the kiss, feeling himself coming undone but in the best way. It had taken them half a lifetime, but finally James had told him what he needed to hear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew. Thanks for sticking with me. I hope the fluff was worth the earlier angst!  
Now I've finished this I realise there were a lot of ways for me to be a whole lot smarter about tying each chapter into the title. There's a lot to be said for patience when it comes to a fic that's going to be more than one chapter long, so I'll try and keep that in mind in future!  
Drop me a comment if you are so inclined! I'm always happy to ramble on about my writing, and IronQrow in general. I'm on tumblr under the same name!  
Thanks!!!

**Author's Note:**

> I only ever felt like a low level IronQrow shipper, but you know that feeling when something just clicks into place? Well that's what that hug was for me. I know I'm late to the party, but I am loving dancing alongside you all!


End file.
